Before I had children, I worked in public services.

I was used to structure, problem-solving, and knowing the rules of the game.
If there was a policy, a framework, or a handbook, I could follow it.

But nothing prepared me for the reality of motherhood.

After my second child was born, I left public services behind and opened a hydrotherapy centre.
It was then that I trained as a baby swimming instructor, teaching parents how to bond with their babies in the water, guiding them through connection, trust, and touch.

I knew the theory.

I could explain why skin-to-skin mattered, why relaxation mattered, why attunement mattered.

And later, when my children were toddlers, I went on to train as an Early Years Practitioner.
By then, I could talk about attachment theory, child development, emotional regulation, and play.
I knew exactly how to support other families.

So why, after all that, did I feel like I was falling apart when it was my own family?

Why was I crying in the car after nursery drop-off?
Why did I feel numb instead of joyful?
Why couldn’t I do, for myself, what I so easily did for others?

And the whisper in my head was brutal:
“You of all people should know better.”
“Why can’t you just get a grip?”
“What’s wrong with you?”

Because here’s the truth: pregnancy after you’ve already been through it once isn’t necessarily easier.
It can feel heavier. This time, you’re carrying not only a new baby, but also everything that happened before.

It wasn’t until I worked with a coach, someone who held me instead of me holding everyone else, that I realised what was missing.

I had the theory.
But I hadn’t integrated it into my body.
Into my own story.
Into the parts of me that were still carrying grief, pressure, perfectionism, trauma.

The penny dropped and it didn’t come from another textbook.
It came from being seen.
From being held.
From saying things out loud and being met with, “Me too.”

👩‍⚕️ You’re Probably an Expert Too, Just Not in This Field

And this is what I see in so many of the mums I now support.

You’re a teacher. A nurse. A therapist. A social worker.
You’re a business owner, a care professional, a scientist, a strategist.

You’re organised. You get results. You’re the one people come to for answers.

You’re exceptional at what you do.

And yet…

Pregnancy still feels harder than it should be.

Instead of feeling calm, you’re replaying what went wrong last time.
Instead of being excited, you’re carrying guilt about your older child or your last postnatal experience.
You’re silently wondering if this time will feel any different.

And in your quietest moments, the voice in your head might be saying:
“I’m failing at the one thing that should come naturally.”
“Why is this harder than my actual job?”
“I’ve read all the books, why hasn’t it clicked?”

And it’s maddening, isn’t it?

Because in your world, you know how to learn.
You’ve trained. You’ve qualified. You’ve climbed. You’ve built credibility.

But pregnancy and motherhood?

They don’t follow a curriculum.
You can’t revise your way into healing.
You can’t plan or overperform your way through emotional recovery.

And most of the time,  no one’s holding you while you try to figure it out.

🧬 Why This Happens (and It’s Not Your Fault)

Let’s take a look at the brain and body behind all this.

• Your prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain that learns, problem-solves, and makes decisions is doing great.
• But your limbic system, especially the amygdala, which holds emotional memory and detects threat doesn’t respond to logic.
• Healing comes through co-regulation (being soothed by others), felt safety, and repetition of experience, not just understanding.

This is why:

• You can know you’re safe but still feel panicked at bedtime.
• You may know you're a good mum, yet still feel weighed down by guilt.
• You can understand your baby’s needs but still feel like you're not doing enough.

It’s not about your skills.
It’s about your nervous system.
And that means the healing has to happen in your body not just your mind.

🌿 Carrying Guilt Instead of Confidence

After my third baby, Sophie, was born, I felt something I never expected: powerlessness.

I had already done this twice before. I should have known how to find my voice, how to speak up, how to advocate for myself and my baby. But when it mattered most, I couldn’t.

Instead of feeling confident, I felt small.
Instead of being listened to, I was dismissed.
And instead of holding on to joy, I was holding on to guilt.

It didn’t make sense. I was teaching other parents about bonding and emotional safety. I knew the theory inside out. But in my own experience, the words wouldn’t come.

And that’s when the self-talk became relentless:
“How can you do this for other families but not for your own?”
“You should know better.”
“You’ve failed her.”

I hear this from my clients all the time too. That sense of: “I know what I should be doing… so why can’t I do it?”

👥 This Is Where Group Work Changes Everything

When I started receiving support, not as a practitioner, but as a woman things began to shift.

That’s why I created In Her Time.

Because you don’t need another antenatal class.
You don’t need another pregnancy book.

You need a space where you’re not expected to have the answers.

A space where experienced mums can lay their badges down and just be human.

You need a village where healing doesn’t just happen to you it happens with you.

💫 What Happens in In Her Time

Over 6 weeks, we slow everything down.
Together, you’ll:

• Reflect on the emotional layers you’ve been carrying, even the ones you’ve buried for years
• Reconnect with your identity, beyond your role as mother or professional
• Explore your parenting and bonding style through a lens of compassion, not perfection
• Use breath, story, nature and neuroscience to create shifts that actually land

This isn’t a generic antenatal class.
It’s a container for integration.
So the things you know can finally become things you feel.

If you're reading this thinking,

“That’s exactly me. I know the theory, but it hasn’t touched my heart yet.”
“I’m so tired of being strong all the time.”
“I don’t want to keep carrying this into another pregnancy.”

Then maybe it’s time for something different.

Not another antenatal class.
Not another book.
But a space where all that knowledge finally has somewhere to land.

Click below to find out when the next group is starting... 

You don’t need fixing.
You need a space that honours where you’ve been and who you’re becoming.